*breathe in, "abba, i belong to you" *breathe out, "abba, i belong to you"
New day, with a new start.
My pastor made a point in his sermon that was specifically for me, and me alone.
What are the holidays about? Friends and family? Yes, but not in their entirety.
A lot of the battle and tension in my heart has come out of the feelings of being alone - a place I've been before, and a place I've never dealt well with. With holidays approaching, no special someone to take thought of me or to take thought of, and no friends that are here (physical proximity) to enjoy this time with, it's simple to dislike holidays. If they are about friends and family, then i should be depressed.
But that isn't the point. The point is the cross. It's simple, it's obvious, but it's not something i had in front of me. Faith, hope, and Love. And the greatest of these? Love.
I was blessed and encouraged last night as i lay in bed, still feeling completely miserable, reading 1 samuel 1&2. Hannah, miserable, tired, and exhausted by the sorrow in her own life - i get it. Wanting something that she had no control over. I get that.
vs 9, 11 " In her deep anguish, Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. If you will only look upon your servants misery and remember me..."
vs 12 "As she kept on praying..." In response to Eli's questioning: I am a woman deeply troubled; i've been pouring out my soul to the Lord out of my grief and anguish.
vs 18 "Then she went on her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast"
vs 19 "...and the Lord remembered her..."
Chapter 2.3 In thankfulness, Hannah declares "for the Lord is a God who knows"
Hagar discovered A seeing God - she was seen. Hannah discovered a God who listens - she was known.
I am known, I am seen.
So here is to a brand new day: Hello chapter 8 - costs of production. Hello chapter 9 - pure competition.
I am choosing to give my heart to the Lord who knows, who sees, who has purpose for my little life. I am choosing to live in the peace he freely gave on the cross, the sustaining grace that allows me to operate within the paradoxes of faith and flesh. I am His, His child.
Charissa - Praise be to the God and Father of your Lord, Jesus Christ. In His great mercy He has given you a new birth into a living hope. This hope is through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. You have been given an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith, are shielded by God's power until the coming of salvation....Therefore Charissa, with a mind that is alert and fully sober, set your hope fully on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed in His coming. 1 Peter 1
I can praise, be thankful, think on these things. He is strong. And i'm going to eat chocolate.
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