Couple random thoughts i want to keep in mind for the future:

1) social work vs business
2) School in California vs School in Indiana
3) Decorating has just as much to do with color and pattern as it does texture. Burlap and lace.

But what's really on my mind most of the day? It's a continuance of grace, piled at the end with a bit of hope.

I don't think anyone want's to be admit that another 'got over' them. Certainly no guy can admit that a girl they really liked simply moved on, and conversely, in the same pride, no girl likes to admit a male they respect and care fore now is careless towards them.

Of all the human emotions i've ever felt, rejection has, without question, been the most brutal. Not rejection of an application or a job. Not even 'breaking up' with the person you most care about. Those rejections are difficult in the moment and fade in the light of circumstances and life.

I can't shake the frustration, the hurt, and the sadness that comes from my love being rejected. that sounds dramatic, even to myself as i formed the words. It's one thing to be rejected by something that you like, it's entirely different to rejected by someone you love. It's a strange phenomenon to me that I can feel alright, fine, even a bit optismistic in the motions of day and the carrying on into the next stages of life, and yet still feel...uncomfortable...

I can't define it. I'm not sure how to label it. I care, but the rejection and the length of time I cared makes me to tired to care anymore. I am in love with who he is, yet comfortable with the near certainty that he won't be coming back. It's just strange to feel over it, and yet think about it. To not have him in my life is comfortable. To know he rejected me on the basis that "it's not you, it's me" makes me uncomfortable in my skin.

It was simple, the owner of the company i work for has three daughters. All of the beautiful, and all of them in their later 20's before they got married. There is just something that puts me at peace knowing that what the Lord has for me is worth the wait.

And for this moment, i believe there is something waiting with all my heart.  He has good things stored up for those that trust Him.