taking a moment of calm.

i know i've completely failed at that slow down thing over the past couple weeks. Every moment i wanted to sit down and write and detox and simplify and try to find heart in the midst of change...time seemed to melt.

I'm moved. Like i don't live in my little leavenworth anymore. I live in portland. It doesn't seem weird, it just seems normal. Its just been a bit too easy really.

There's a little verse i've just spent the last several days really reflecting on.

"once more Jesus put his hand on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly"

There is something about being touched by Jesus that makes everything simpler - like we can actually see. Like colors and shapes actually are recognizable and make perfect sense.

There are several colors i can't identify and shapes that don't have names in my own life, and how i need the Lords touch on these areas. Friends. Church. The details of this job. My mission. my calling.

Touch. Sight. Clearly.

I am so grateful for a hope that springs from deep within my soul. It's the goodness of my savior that's left it there, and that fills it there. I am a loved girl who rests secure in the face of such uncertainty.

All done with Enzian. Unemployed for the first time since I was a kid. School ends on Wednesday. I got thrown a curve ball I didn't see coming. I'm not sure if it's right, or if is just foolish. I want to just let myself go with it. It doesn't fit in my neat nice way of the way things go. But I think that's why I like him - not conventional, yet still extremely intentional. It's just so refreshing. I feel funny, and I feel attractive, and I feel a bit more like me than I've felt in a long time. This seems like bad timing.

The way of the Kingdom is rarely easy, often times frustrating, usually difficult, and always best. Best being better than good, and fully satisfying.

I don't understand the timing of all this, but I sense the Lord just smiling at me. I think I'm being served more than I think i'm ready for.

Times are changing. I'm leaving home, and saying hello to a new home. I find it funny that the only job I avoided the connections too happens to be the one job that is calling and I have an interview with. The Lord works in funny ways. I definitely think there is a plan I'm unaware of.

Time to grasp the idea of new goals, new beginnings, and a life in Portland. What work does He have for me?
What blessings?
What people?
Places?
Who does he have for me to be influenced by?
What challenges? Hardships?

I sense more beautiful something.