labels

I'm about to enter into another transition. One that came up in unexpected timing. A transition that stirs those deep things in me that are still being healed, the things in me that i desperately want to keep underground until they miraculously come out beautiful somehow. 

I ask the Lord to help my unbelief in all this.  This world, this life, gives us plenty of names, labels, to define us. These labels define how we look at ourselves, how we perceive the direction we are headed in the future. What we are (or aren't) worthy of.

And so, in the midst of a little chaos, in stepping into where i believe the Lord is leading me, I hurt today. Struggle with myself, with my choices, with the labels the evil one has given me, with the labels I've given myself. 

I am thankful that the Lord always has something to say, speaking a truth, into my life, particularly when i look at myself and despair at who i've become. And in this i find this verse - Indeed, we felt within ourselves that we had received the [very] sentence of death, but that was to keep us from trusting in and depending on ourselves instead of on God Who raises the dead.

and later to say: 

[He has also appropriated and acknowledged us as His by] putting His seal upon us and giving us His [Holy] Spirit in our hearts as the security deposit and guarantee [of the fulfillment of His promise]. 2 Corinthians 1. Amplified. 

In these moments of doubt, it's who we belong to that matters. It's who He is that matters. For reasons i will never understand, he has chosen to bestow grace and favor upon me. He has chosen me to be one of his, and He is my good shepherd, entirely independent of the choices i make. Praise be to the Father, that i can trust his leading, his guiding, through this process. 

This late morning, i choose to rest in the truth He has revealed to me. That he is my redeemer, my shepherd (Ezekiel 34), my loving Father. 

I can breathe in. breathe out. focus and know. I am deeply loved